It's kind of weird, right? Really? I have a biological clock? Given the choice, there are times when my body would actually want to be awake? Also, if I'm still on Indian time then how come I get insurmountably sleepy when it's like 7:30am there? Huh? Everyone keeps asking me why I went to India for just a week, to screw with my sleep schedule and my emotions and more. In the plane on the way home, I was asking myself the same thing.
And then I experienced yesterday. I was just in between time zones enough that my body and my mind were totally free. I have never experienced the level of happiness or relaxation that I encountered yesterday. Adjusting to Indian time was a nightmare and I was expecting the same back here. But no.
Yesterday, I felt like I was neither in India nor the States. My mind seemed to have been left behind somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, and I was pure, blissful consciousness. I woke up at 6 to the birds chirping and the sun rising and my roommate sleeping. I didn't even know Boston had birds.
I wasn't in Punjab long enough during this trip to really get that thick Indian accent and forget which side of the street cars drive on, but I was in my "home" for just enough time to remember that there is a completely different world out there in which I can live and function as well as this one. And that's really freeing.
I think that because my body had neither adjusted to Indian mores nor American norms just yet, I was utterly and completely Ratna. I was a little weird in most of my classes, making comments that would be acceptable in I don't even know what country, but they were super instinctive (just a casual extension of my consciousness) and seemed to give my classmates a kick. I was chirpy (the four coffees are irrelevant) and happy and I think it's really comforting to know that when I'm having trouble dealing with this world, I have that other one. And when I'm experiencing issues in that world, I have this one. And if both are getting on my nerves, well, if time is such a crazy construct and I can exist in either society then why not in neither? When everything's "wrong" I hope I can hold on to that place in the middle of the Atlantic -- where I don't have to be anything specific or do anything prescribed -- and send my mind there every once in a while for a little mental spring break.
But for now, back to bed -- wish me luck with my jet lag.